The Paprikka » Internet http://www.thepaprikka.com Healthier than The Onion. Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:09:34 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Google Crashes Comcast Stock By Announcing Google TiSP Division http://www.thepaprikka.com/2009/11/google-crashes-comcast-stock-by-announcing-google-tisp-division/ http://www.thepaprikka.com/2009/11/google-crashes-comcast-stock-by-announcing-google-tisp-division/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:01:13 +0000 A.P. http://www.thepaprikka.com/?p=24 Mountain View, CA-Google has brought on a major trauma in the ISP industry by announcing its official launch of the Google TiSP division. Google TiSP is a free high-speed broadband access service using existing plumbing infrastructure in the customers’ homes.  Originally an April’s Fool joke, Google TiSP had gained worldwide reputation for being revolutionary [...]]]> Mountain View, CA-Google has brought on a major trauma in the ISP industry by announcing its official launch of the Google TiSP division. Google TiSP is a free high-speed broadband access service using existing plumbing infrastructure in the customers’ homes.  Originally an April’s Fool joke, Google TiSP had gained worldwide reputation for being revolutionary in theory but hilariously stupid in practice. However, technology has evolved so much in the last three years that it has become technologically feasible to make Google TiSP a reality.

“This is one of the greatest advances in the history of internet,” said Stephen Prashner, the newly-appointed head of the Google TiSP division. “Our services will bring a free, high-speed internet to literally everyone with a toilet in their homes.”

Although TiSP has been met with some skepticism, the idea of a widely-available free broadband internet has crashed several ISP’s stocks, most notably Comcast. Comcast stocks, which were selling for about $15 a stock, has crashed to the value it deserves, namely about $0.15 per stock.

Google is no newcomer to crashing other companies’ stocks. Earlier this year, with the launch of Android 2.0 and its free turn-by-turn navigation system, Google made a significant dent to Garmin and TomTom’s stocks.

It will be interesting to see what other kinds of smelly but free ideas Google will be able to cook up in their fortress in Mountain View, California.

In other news, plumbers around the U.S. are worried that they will now have to learn skill in broadband installation following the announcement of the Google TiSP division.

]]> http://www.thepaprikka.com/2009/11/google-crashes-comcast-stock-by-announcing-google-tisp-division/feed/ 0 Americans Being Overcharged For Porn, Study Shows http://www.thepaprikka.com/2009/09/americans-being-overcharged-for-porn-study-shows/ http://www.thepaprikka.com/2009/09/americans-being-overcharged-for-porn-study-shows/#comments Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:51:38 +0000 A.P. http://www.thepaprikka.com/?p=7 Tokyo, Japan – A recent controversial study shows that due to the slow speeds and high prices of “high-speed” internet in America, the American youth are actually being overcharged for porn. A recent study done by the American Institute for personal Gratification, AIG for short, it shows that a normal youth in the ages [...]]]> Tokyo, Japan – A recent controversial study shows that due to the slow speeds and high prices of “high-speed” internet in America, the American youth are actually being overcharged for porn. A recent study done by the American Institute for personal Gratification, AIG for short, it shows that a normal youth in the ages between 18 and 26 has approximately 20 minutes a day to spend on watching pornography on average. In the more “internetically” developed parts of the world, such as South Korea and Japan, customers enjoy speeds of 100Mbps or 1Gbps. In simpler terms, if the user wants to download an exotic video with the quality of 512Kbps, which would be slightly less clear than a normal TV service, a user with a 100Mbps (costing about $30/month) internet would be able to download 200 seconds of such video in just one second, while the more fortunate user with 1Gbps (costing about $56.50) internet would be able to download 2,048 seconds of the video in one second. Meanwhile, Americans using Road Runner will have to pay $34.95 per month, bundled with other offers, to get a meager 5Mbps, max. With Road Runner, the American youth can only download 8 seconds of such video in one second. Because of the simple fact that it takes Americans longer to download such content from the internet, and due to the limited time allotted to the busy youth, it means that Americans are being overcharged over 20 times in comparison to the youth in Korea and Japan. “This is unacceptable, and I hope the Federal Government does something about it to stop overcharging for an inalienable right of the American youth,” said the Director of AIG.

In other news, statistics show 69% of the users using GOM Player, a popular Korean video player, has been found to be using it to watch porn, while 15% use it to watch Starcraft matches.

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