Paul the Octopus has successfully predicted all of the matches that he has been asked to predict.
Berlin, Germany – Paul the Octopus, the sensational octopus who has correctly predicted the outcomes of all seven of Germany’s matches as well as the final of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, has risen to notoriety recently. Some, mostly the German fans and the Dutch fans, want to kill the damn octopus, while others, such as the Prime Minister of Spain, want to do anything to protect its enchanted life. The Paprikka has recently had the opportunity to conduct an exclusive interview with this supposedly magical being. We sent Raymond Domenech, who famously led the French national team to its spectacular demise to its deserved place in the sewers, to interview Paul the Octopus.
Domenech: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Paul.
Paul: Likewise, Raymond. I’ve heard a lot about you.
D: Oh, really? What did you think about my performances in this World Cup?
P: (Silently points at the uneaten, spoiled mussels lying in three different acryl boxes with the French flag)
D: Moving on, if I may ask, what is your secret? How did you correctly predict so many of these matches?
P: It was easy! You know, I just picked the team that Pele didn’t pick.
D: Uhh… that’s not that special, then.
P: Uhh… neither is leading a team full of stars such as Evra, Ribery, and Henry out of the group stages. Oh, wait.
D: Wait a minute, but Pele picked Spain to win against the Netherlands! But you also picked Spain…
P: For that match, let’s just say that the flag looked prettier… or maybe there was something more to it. I don’t remember.
D: Well, thanks for your time anyways, Paul. Any last words for the readers?
P: France sucks donkey dick.
D; Well, then.
In other news, the North Korean Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il has asked that Paul the Octopus be extradited to the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea for crimes against its people. It is unclear what crime he is referring to, but it has been suggested that Kim, a major shareholder at Burlington Coat Factory, also enjoys bestiality.